2017: The novel, the album, more failure

Alex Boast Writer

 

I am one of those idiots.

Hurtling into a future of my own making that I like to pretend was down to someone else.

The fact is, if I don’t do it, nobody else is going to do it for me.

So why blame others when things go wrong, instead of myself when they don’t go right?

My writer friends always ask me about the novel.

The ask about the album too – the ones that know about it.

They ask about things like how many proofreads there’s been. How many hours I’ve spent.

Not about what I’m going to do, tomorrow, to make sure it is better than today.

The reason these things take time, is they mature. Something’s been stopping me from finishing ‘The City of This’ and I know it’s patience.

It’s already changed so much.

All four Ebooks will change once it’s done, and I understand now. I’m so glad I have clarity.

Thing is though; that doesn’t make it easy.

I’ve been writing songs nearly as long as I’ve been writing stories. There’s only one I ever wrote that I don’t need to note down: it’s all there in my mind.

I’ve remembered every word for over a decade because some things stay with you. I wrote this song for my dog, who had passed away near his birthday at Christmas time after 15 years of unconditional love; for me.

My album has taken various different names and forms since I started doing open mic nights at university. Verging from Irish drinking songs to serious love ballads.

Now I know what it should be, and the EP will be right. It’s title has been used before – in one of my early stories – but it’ll help form the basis of all the themes that’ll be explored in the novel.

If there’s anything I can say about writing lyrics, it’s that it doesn’t matter how shit they are if they come from the heart. Lady gaga insists she write  most of her (incredible) songs in 10 minutes flat.

I wish I could help you more than I do, but live vicariously through my mistakes to save yourself needing to repeat them.

I sponsor the Kingston Writing School. Other than this blog that is the only way I give back. I hope to do something more.

Next year, I will fail to help others, like I’ll fail to write a novel and an album. The best I can hope for is to make more progress than backward steps.

In terms of the novel, ‘window pain’. It’ll be better than it ever would have been without this experiment of a website and ebooks first.

I hope it’ll be a big thing to a small amount of people, and a small thing to a bigger amount of people.

As for the album, that’s really just for me, but if it ever got a song on the soundtrack of a Scrubs-esque TV show, that’d be good enough for me.

My piano playing is still piss poor, but I never gave up at guitar, and I’m praying one day it’ll repay me.

Let’s wait and see.

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